Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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