help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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