I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think your dad took our porno
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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