After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
