walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
