Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
