matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
