AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize