playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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