I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bring me that man meat
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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