Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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