call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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