And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
