Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
