Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
