Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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