She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
