Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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