so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
