i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
