what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
