She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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