I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
