I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
