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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
