And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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