What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
