Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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