On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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