I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
