and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize