I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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