She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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