They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize