Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
