We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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