fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
