dude i'm inner monologue high
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A+ Viking dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
