Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
