My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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