Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
