all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize