You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
