It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
