If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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