Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
this is an emotional support booty call
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize