Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How external is "for external use only"?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
