You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
