Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize