It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
