True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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