Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
