Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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