The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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