just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize