I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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