Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
