I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize