end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
