sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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