So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
