I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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