There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
