office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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