I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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