i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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